Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
I was a mother of two – ages twenty months and one year – when the phone rang with the announcement of a biological sibling. We had been in contact with the birth mother and were expecting the call, but the same race of equal parts excitement and panic coursed through my body. We confirmed our desire to take the infant and were told to arrive at the hospital later that day.
I removed the lining from the car seat that my then one year old was still using, washed it and put the seat back together. I called my mother and best friend while repacking the diaper bag with newborn essentials. With my heart in my throat and doubts plaguing my mind, I headed to the hospital for the third time.
When I arrived, carrying my empty car seat, I headed toward the nursery and scrubbed in. As I was drying my hands, a nurse walked out, took my information and escorted me to a supply closet.
A supply closet.
She quickly tells me that there is biological family currently with the baby and for my safety I needed to stay in this closet until she came back to get. Then, she left.
Here I was, holding my empty car seat, surrounded by hospital blankets and boxes of gloves, absolutely terrified. If they feared for my safety, surely it was appropriate for me to be scared. In this moment, I called upon my memory of Joshua 1:9 and reminded myself of the command to be strong and courageous. The instruction to not be afraid or discouraged and the understanding that God is with me wherever I go.
I called upon this verse to defeat the dark shadows that were creeping over my subconscious, telling me that I was in the wrong place, making the wrong decision. Satan works overtime when he sees us being obedient and enriching God’s kingdom. Satan clouds our mind with worry, doubts and fear in hopes that we’ll abort our mission and walk away from that which we are called.
Satan did not win that day. I stood solidly in that supply closet reciting Joshua 1:9, throwing my doubts and fears into the biohazard bin for garbage. Do not be afraid or discouraged as the Lord our God is with you always .. even in hospital supply closets.
When fear creeps into your being, cast it aside remembering that the Lord your God is with you. Discouragement and fear have no place along a path that has been chosen for you by the almighty Father.