The Letter

I sit here fighting tears as I attempt to write “the letter”. I’ve written this letter before, in different circumstances, and it never gets easier.  Somehow I’m supposed to fit everything about the last seven months into this letter to deliver to the next mommy and daddy.  I pray I’ve captured everything I wanted, needed, to say. 

If someone asked you to write a letter detailing all there is to know about your baby, what would it say? Every time I think I have it perfected, there are ten more things I realize I forgot to mention. 

How will they know his favorite toy of all toys is a simple spoon? Or he laughs the hardest when you tickle right under his chin? I’m sure they’ll know when to feed him and change his pants, but will they know he likes to bounce and sing and dance? 

I’ve spent seven months loving, nurturing, healing. Seven months of sleepless nights, slobbery kisses and hours upon hours of babble. Seven months of foundation building that may not be remembered, but are irreplaceable. 

Seven months of forever doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you attempt to bundle it neatly into one letter you realize it’s more than you thought. 

I hope it portrays what a joy we think he is and just how much we love him. 

I pray it embodies his love of animals and excitement at exploration.

I have so much to say and no idea how to say it. 

I sit here fighting tears as I attempt to write this letter, embracing the heartache wrapped in memories of the past and hope for the future. 

3 thoughts on “The Letter

  1. Angela, my heart breaks for you and your family as you let this little one go to his forever family. He is a very blessed child to have been a part of the Jamison family, even though for a short time. You have given Mr. Z a wonderful start I’m life. May God bless you for your selfless love.

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  2. You are a remarkable woman and I’m honored to call you friend. All your babies are with you because God knows what a wonderful mother you are!! DeColores

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