It’s 9:53pm and it may be the first time it’s been quiet all day. My head is pounding, my feet sore and my ego bruised. Today, I failed at being a mother. I failed at being a wife. I failed at a lot of things.
I’m sitting on my bed, tears falling, because I simply feel like I can’t do it all. And when I do manage to do it all, it’s not very well. This morning began before 700am with bickering, resulting in me yelling. This evening ended with bickering and me yelling. It is a vicious cycle that I could not seem to free myself from today.
We all have days like this, right? Days where we want to hit the reset button before noon. Days where we question our capabilities, our purpose, our everything. We all have days where we just can’t do it all, and certainly not do it all well.
We all have days where it is blatantly obvious we need God. Today was one of those days for me!
Be still and know that I am God. – Psalm 46:10
Today, I needed a reminder to be still. Be still and know that He is with me, carrying my burden and walking by my side. God does not intend for us to do it all alone, and certainly not all alone and well. God intends for us to be still, know He is God and allow him to shoulder some of the pressure.
When I was barely keeping my head above water, wondering how I was ever going to survive being home with my kids ALL DAY for two weeks during winter break, I just needed to be still.
When I was agonizing over an email communication wondering how I was going to patch the fences, I just needed to be still.
When I was worrying about the headache that has taunted me for weeks, I just needed to be still.
Be still and know that He is God.
Be still and know that He will not forsake me.
Be still and know that I am not alone.
God instructs us to be still and trust in Him. Over and over again we are reminded…
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13
My days get away from me, anxieties encroach on my spirit and I forget the promises God has given me. I forget to be still and revel in the beauty of my Father. Tomorrow is a new day and His promises remain because he is loving and merciful.
Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow I will do better at being still.