We are in the final stages of re-opening our home for foster care. We’ve had the home studies, built the crib and spread the news. Now we just wait and see where God leads this journey.
It’s an interesting journey to be on the second time around as we know what to expect – to an extent – but there is still an air of uncertainty and angst.
We know how to answer most of the questions from people, but there is still a lot we can’t explain.
We have heard most of the comments, but some still catch us off guard. The comment that I hear most frequently is “I would love to do foster care, but I’d get too attached”
I’m not sure if this comment makes me sad or angry. I know people say it and mean well, but it bothers me.
Let me clarify something – I get attached. The stark reality is these children are not mine and (most of the time) in letting them go, I am aiding the system in a success story.
It doesn’t always work like that in the broken system, but whether we want to believe it or not, the happiest ending is a healthy reunification. The happiest ending is when these children are able to live in a safe and healthy environment with their biological family.
The happiest ending is the one where I plant a seed of love and faith and that child takes it home and shares it with their family.
The happiest ending isn’t about me.
Getting attached is exactly what these children need. They need someone to love them, teach them and support them in this most traumatic time of their life. They need someone willing to get attached to their brokenness in an effort to make them whole.
These children need the exact thing you’re declaring as a weakness.
By God’s grace, I am able to get attached and to let go. By God’s grace, I am able to embrace the journey, the heartache, the triumphs. Only by God’s grace am I able to be a foster parent.
The next time you think about saying you couldn’t be a foster parent because you’d get attached, think about what you’re implying.
You’re implying these children aren’t worth getting attached to.
It’s not easy. It’s down right hard at times, but it’s worth it. It’s worth it because these children deserve to know happiness, safety and love.
It’s worth it because these children and their futures are worth it.
Getting attached is exactly what they need.